I’m HOMESICK

I love where I live. But I’m also deeply Homesick. WHAT IS “HOME”? Where the heart is? Well I left a big piece of my heart back on the East Coast/South.

I’m now yearning for that feeling where I am calm. Where I am safe from the ills of the world (and this place I’m in is damn safe and so easy to move thru.) And yet, I am suffering from crippling insecurity. What have I done? Where will I move if this doesn’t work out? Or if I don’t get my VisaD?

I miss Atlanta. It’s a wonderful city. I had a GREAT 10 years there. And it was close enough to NYC (2 hour plane ride) to see theatre and see my daughter. But I felt the need to leave because I could no longer afford the rent (coupled with breaking up with the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a partner, which is really the hardest part of all of this, if I ‘m totally honest. We made a good Home together. But then we broke it. Er, at least, I did, I think)

I’ve moved SO MANY TIMES in my life, but this one feels like it will be my last “home”. That’s what happens when you reach your ‘60s I guess.

Ah, aging. But at least I still get to age. That terrible metastatic breast cancer I had well over 20 years ago did NOT take me down.

I ‘m just scared, I guess, of when the end of me will inevitably happen. And where will I be? HOME?